Don’t like doing something? Stop NOW!
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP..
The alarm clock goes off, you reach over, eyes closed, groaning like a zombie, fumbling around in the dark trying to find that damn button. You finally find it and press it down. Your finger says yes, the brain says no. The relief of silence is your first victory of the day, yet the zombie returns as the realisation of what this signals hits you like a hammer.
Yes it’s Monday morning and you have to go to work!
Why would any sane logical person do this? “I must be a masochist” you think to yourself as you struggle to get out of bed.
Yet this is the default start to the day for the vast majority of people.
The crazy thing is that most people start their day like this. Thinking negative thoughts and totally dreading getting out of bed because they know their day ahead is going to be a chore. We have all been there. We have all had a job we hated for whatever reason. So how do we change this?
STOP DOING IT!
Why should you go through your life being bored or fed up with what you do on a daily basis? Its insanity, it really is. I think it was Albert Einstein who once said “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result”.
The problem is we fall into set patterns that are dictated to us by society. We are raised with the belief that we should follow a particular path in life. You know the one. Go to college/university, get a good job, buy a house, settle down and get married, have kids, grow old, retire, play bingo. I mean, who wouldn’t want to retire and play bingo?
We all have our own set of ideas and beliefs, dreams and aspirations. Not only that, we have dreams that fall into two different categories. The first category is dreams we have had all of our lives, maybe since childhood. Some people want to be footballers, astronauts, pop singers etc etc, which is great. Then we grow up and somehow these dreams change to more ‘realistic’ careers like ‘lawyer, physiotherapist or traffic cone maker. (seriously, who makes those things? Is there a traffic cone factory or what?)
The problem again, is that most of us even fail to achieve the heady heights of the second category. We end up sat in an office or in customer service jobs that suck the soul out of you quicker than a lonely vampire. We are often unfulfilled and this creates negative emotions that linger with us pretty much every day of our lives. This of course means we pass it on to our family, friends, loved ones. They can see we are unhappy and over time, this can create problems with our relationships.
Stop doing these crazy things that are bringing you down. You know what you have to do.
I know what you are going to say, that you can’t just quit your job. I mean who does that? It’s immature and reckless right? Maybe you will come up with a ton of excuses such as how to pay the rent or bills. Or you might worry about what your friends and family will think of you. It’s okay, I don’t necessarily mean that you must quit today, but put the wheels into motion today. Think about what you really want to do with your life and take those first steps right now.
In early 2012 I quit my job. For as long as I can remember I have been a slave to the hourly wage. Giving up my time for £6 an hour. Dealing with various sociopath managers and disillusioned people on a daily basis can really bring you down.
For several months I considered handing my notice at my last employer, but those negative thoughts held me back. Worried that I didn’t have anything else lined up. Worried that it would take me another 9 months to find a new job (my last unemployed period). Weeks of frustration finally came to a head when over the period of a few days I was treated like a child by a couple of managers. The next day I handed in a week’s notice and I can honestly say that I had no fear or apprehension about the future. I felt so relieved and free.
My plan, my calling, is to travel. To live in different parts of the world and experience new cultures and exciting adventures. Obviously I hope to make enough money through some online ventures, including this blog, but I honestly don’t worry about that. I just want to make enough to enable me to live life on my own terms. That is my dream.
Shortly I will be doing something that I have always dreamed of doing but was too afraid to try. I will be travelling to a foreign country by myself. To see what it is like not knowing a single person and to see how I adapt to this. I chose Germany because I wish to put the last two years of German language learning into some form of practice. That and they have good beer.
This is just the first stop. I eventually want to actually live, not holiday, but to live at least a few months in every major continent in the world. I say major. I don’t really fancy Antarctica for some reason. Could be the Penguins, I don’t know.
If you are already considering breaking away from the daily grind, then read on..
5 tips to help you on your way
- Have a plan of action. The first step is to actually have an idea about what you want to do. Go with your gut instinct here and just follow the one big dream you have always had but were too scared to try. Think about how you can get started, no matter how small that first step might seem.
- Find people who have done it. This can mean speaking to any friends or family members that have started their own business or maybe look online and send an email to any role models you may have within your chosen field. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, and if possible, spend some time with these people. Just communicating and being around people who are where you want to be is inspiring.
- Surround yourself with positive people. This is a very important part of any big lifestyle change. There will always be people willing to put you down for daring to change. If you can, keep your distance from these people and instead focus on spending time with people who actively encourage you and want to see you succeed.
- Work hard. You may be quitting your job but that doesn’t mean you can start slacking. This is where the real hard work begins. Hopefully you are sufficiently motivated to really tackle this head on and put all of your energy into making your new life succeed. The only one who can do it is you.
- Never give up. There will be times when pitches you make will be knocked back. When funds can start getting a little low. When you will wonder “is it all worth it?”. Just know that all successful people experience anxiety from time to time and it is perfectly natural. Focus on your goals and everything will come together in time.
Start thinking about what your calling is. Think about it all day every day. Let’s say you want to start your own business. Go ahead and dream about it. Focus on what you want to sell or provide. Visualise your customers, your surroundings, the money you will be making. Before we can put a plan of action in place, we must first have the intention. Don’t just wish for your dream, but truly believe that you are already doing it. Look at these two sentences.
“One day I want to be a successful vocal coach”
“I am already a successful vocal coach, I just don’t have the students yet”
There is a quote from the actor Will Smith. He said that when he has an idea or a plan, it’s over. It’s already happened, we just haven’t seen it yet.
This is a powerful mindset that all successful people have. To truly succeed you must already be the person you wish to become. I know that sounds paradoxical but when you think about it, it does make sense. To use an example, Successful dieters often have the mindset that instead of wanting to be a thin person, they are already a thin person, just trapped inside a fat body. It creates the mindset that our current reality is just temporary.
We have to believe that this isn’t our lot. That we can do anything we set our minds to. Go anywhere we want to go. Be anyone we want to be.
There is no us and them. There is nothing to differentiate those who are successful from the rest of us apart from one thing. At some point they decided that they were going to take control of their lives and start living on their own terms. It has to be that way.
What is the alternative? The 9-5 grind for another 40 years? No thanks.
About Jamie
Hi Jamie!
I just stumbled upon your blog and now I’m here for… uhm… four hours, I guess, with breaks for working on my dreams and… well, yeah, exercising. I wanted to start with both for a long, long time but I’m also a master at procrastination. So I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this blog. It’s inspiring and even though I read similar things again and again in the past, it never worked for me to get my lazy ass up and start with something – until today. I spent one hour with walking, three hours with starting a blog about my passion – writing – and hell, I even write this comment. That’s my “Do one thing you’re scared of every day”-thing, ’cause in spite of many, many years of English lessons and a year I lived abroad (and had to speak English most of the time), I’m always scared of making grammar mistakes and such things.
So… wow! You’re great. Because you share your experience, because you’re the one, who managed to motivate me enough to simply start everything I ever wanted to do and I’m all “Hats off to that guy!”
I wish you just the best for the future and want to say “Thank you so, so much!” again. I’m off to bed now. Tomorrow is going to be the first day of my personal “30 Day Challenge” and I just can’t wait! 🙂
Kindest regards,
Sam
I just want to say thanks for that comment! It means so much 🙂
I’m positive that you will eventually become the person you want to be.. good luck!!
Hi jamie.ive just stumbled across your sight and its great..ive been quite ill for the last two years got divorced lost interest in life and was given antidepressants by doc and then refered to by a psyciatrist who was treating me for bipolar….it was a living hell on these meds after trying a lot of different types and the side effects were awful.i ended up telling them i want off the meds and now i am, i have always been ambitious and now i am back at college studying to be a lecturer but ive been not very well last for a month and now i feel like am sinking again….any suggestions?
Hi Mary, I can only tell you the things that help me when I fee low. Maybe they will help, maybe not. I find that getting down the gym 5 times a week helps a lot with mood and also finding time to enjoy the little things in life. Take a day off work and have a movie day or get together with a friend whom you haven’t seen for a long time. Eat healthier too and write yourself out a daily plan of things you want to do. It’s always important to find time to do these things and not just get stuck in a endless, wake up-work-go home-sleep-wake up-work-go home-sleep cycle.
Hi Jamie,
Great post (and website)! I’m really getting to the point when I’m ready to take the plunge. Yes I could go on for another couple of years hoping my projects will take off to allow me to quit and carry on swallowing the BS at work every day. And maybe change jobs in between for good measure. But realistically? I’m never gonna jump in until I have that ‘security’… So I gave myself a deadline of August the first. You’re my witness 😀
Also you’re unlikely to find the positive inspiration you need when working 9-5. I find even the loveliest people full of subtle negativity. They think they are being helpful, and they don’t realise the damage that does to your relationship.
Keep on writing Jamie!
Ash recently posted..Self Esteem Test – Which one is Best?
Hey Ash, come August 1st you better be doing something better or I’ll track you down and drag you out of your job myself 😀
Well, probably not – but you’ve got plenty of time… do it!
A few things to say:
Thank you for reminding me what my dad always told me. “You can do anything you set your mind to.” That helped me through many years of my life and he (you) was so right! I’ve fallen behind and wondered off the path for many years due to financial and personal problems, and his passing 4 years back. I’m in the process of getting back on track.
Secondly, I love the concept you suggested about believing it’s true ‘now’. Not “I will be a great (blank)” but rather “I AM a great (blank).” I’m about to make a drastic professional change in my life (the ball is already rolling) and every so often I feel doubt that I can do it. But combined with my dad’s encouragement, the second piece fell right into place! I’m AM good at it NOW, even tho I’m in ‘training’. It’s such a simple concept and yet so powerful at empowering me. It put ‘words’ to the concept my dad (and you) have said. That is, with living by the words of my dad in the past, I was essentially ‘acting the part’ before I even officially got there. I’d envision the ‘future’ of me as this successful person because after all, my dad said it was true!! Lol! (I’m a daddy’s girl). As it turns out, I was VERY successful at EVERYTHING I put my mind to for the first 40 years of my life! It didn’t matter what it was, my career, a hobby, being a mom, all of it!
So I just wanted to say thank you for re-inspiring me the way my dad did and adding that one piece that has now laid all my current fears to rest. Fear is crippling. It can paralyze you and hold you back. I now know I AM already a success in my new path and this is just the beginning. I have forgotten that you are what you believe and that mindset is all it takes to make it happen. Doubting yourself will hold you back. Believing in yourself will propel you into the reality of it. Having the faith in yourself is 95% of the secret to actually succeeding! Only YOU have that power. Hence, don’t listen to others as you noted.
So once again, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. I’ve just stepped over that threshold into my bright future……and it feels amazing.
One note, I love how you pegged the ‘manager’ issues! Wow! I’ve had a few of those! And working with others who only pull you down. These things REALLY DO wear a person down after years of accumulation! I’ve been there AND witnessed it with many people!
Btw, penguins are so cuuuute! Not to mention loyal and incredibly devoted. Don’t let them hold you back. LOL!! They put most of the human race to shame. I’d MUCH rather hang with the penguins! Talk about surrounding yourself with positive creatures! Now the temperature might hold you back, for sure!!! Burrrr!
Best of luck to you Jamie!!! You’re very inspiring!
Thank you Patricia for your kind words!
I just stumbled upon this website and I got to say, my vision on life is completely the same.
I’m 20 years old and in my second year of college. I will have to study another 2 years before I will graduate my bachelor degree.
At the start of this year I’ve really figured out where I want to go in life, set my life goals and started to take action on them. I recently started a blog about “living congruent”.
What this means to me is you have to conciously define what you want out of life and take action on these things. You will then automatically start to feel better about yourself and this is what it’s all about right? Feeling great!
Though I’m still in college and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to do a lot with this degree..
I’m going to continue studying for the time being (because my parents will support me in this case) while I’m setting up my blog and making it bigger and bigger so I won’t have to work 9-5 after college and can put all my effort in what I love to do.
What is your opinion, should I stay in college for 2 more years (the second year won’t be hard, because I have to do half year of work in a whole year) or should I quit college and see where life takes me and having my parents basically hate me haha.
Anyway great post, will check the rest of your blog out aswell.
– Martijn
Martijn @ acongruentman recently posted..7 Killer work habits to explode your productivity
Hey, Martijn. I think you already know what you want to do, so just follow your instinct and do it. If something doesn’t work out, then you just try again. 🙂
I recently just quit my job which I’d been thinking about doing for about a year. For the last 6 months though, it was a daily struggle not to just slap down my keys and say SEE YA.. My anxiety was killing me every day. I decided to leave after a series of events that just had me beat. After sharing this news with my friends and family, almost every immediate response was “What are you going to do now?” I realized how much we all (including myself) rely on this structure, routine, and step by step plan to success, but this post helped me a lot. I’m feeling a lot of guilt about quitting without a plan, I’m feeling a lot of stress about how I’ll get back on track, get my bills paid, blah blah blah. But I guess once life is over, it’s over. That’s it, I’ll have nobody to face but myself when it’s all over. I’m hoping I find what makes me feel fulfilled, until then.. I’ll keep going. Good luck to all.